Derek Boogaard Passes Away at 28

Usually when I sit down to write a blog post, I wait until I think of something funny to say...or well, I flat out procrastinate. This is not the case with this post - I just hate writing about these kinds of things.

Derek Boogaard - Rangers enforcer - dead at 28.

Wow. Not expecting that at all today. I know I had my fun last year with him - not necessarily at his expense, but more at the notion that an enforcer could pull down that much money.

What I neglected to mention or even think about is that when a team signs a player, it's not necessarily JUST for them to play the games and try and win the Stanley Cup. There's the character issue - and Boogaard had it. A heart as big as his body. His love of the game and his Booguardians and other charities.

A guy you'd want on your team, but playing against him, a nightmare.

So many took to the interwebs to offer condolences and memories of a giant teddy bear of a man - and this doesn't surprise me at all. Hockey is something that is more than a sport - we all know it. Its players and its fans are a giant family. We have our spats and our "relatives we don't like" (even if we don't really know them) because of stuff they do, but when something like this happens, all of that stuff is irrelevant.

He was one of us - he was ours.

We come together, we console each other, the fans of his team, etc.

Real life is bigger than what happens on the ice.

Man, it's mindblowing to think this guy was only 28. That's far too young to be eulogized - I myself am 25. It's a little heavy and it makes it so much more tragic. He was in the prime of his career.

For me, there aren't many better things in hockey than an enforcer with a heart of gold, and this man was it. Even better when they score a goal. For all the dirty work they do, to get rewarded like that is great. And I think that's how I'll finish this post - Derek Boogaard's last goal (snipe!):



R.I.P. big guy.

Derek Boogaard = Peter Gibbons

Have you ever seen Office Space? I hope you have. It's one of my favorite movies. If you haven't, in a nutshell, it's a comedy about three guys working at a software company office in the late 90s who hate their jobs. At one point in the film, the main protagonist, Peter Gibbons, goes with his girlfriend to see an occupational hypnotherapist and Peter, normally sort of high-strung, is placed under a relaxing trance. But before the obese hypnotherapist can snap Peter out of this trance, he succumbs to a heart attack in the middle of the session, leaving Peter stuck in the trance.

Peter is now completely relaxed in his life and starts skipping work, uncaring of the consequences and preparing to start his lifelong dream of "doing nothing." Anyway, at one point in the film, while arriving at work to pick up some things before leaving, he is reminded by his friend Michael that he has an appointment with some consultants. Peter goes in to see the two men and is completely brutally honest about his slacking off at work, his displeasure with his multiple bosses, and admits he just doesn't care.

Now I know, this is a hockey blog and not a film blog, but here's my point. During the consultant scene, Peter admits: "I'd say in a given week, I probably only do fifteen minutes of real, actual work."

One could say the same of Derek Boogaard.

And that is the point of that story.

If you're one of those who purposefully avoid the tragically hilarious, then you might now know that that genius GM of the Rangers, Glen Sather, recently signed known totem pole Derek Boogaard to an ACTUAL SERIOUS CONTRACT worth $6.6 million over 4 years. This for a guy who has scored as many goals in the last four years as I have. Dude hasn't even played a full season in the NHL yet. I'm guessing Sather thinks money grows on trees. Or in his own ass.

That's right. Derek Boogaard is getting paid $1,625,000 this upcoming season.

A goon.

Over a million and a half dollars.

Y'know, if Peter were making that kind of scratch, he probably wouldn't have needed to see a hypnotherapist, nor would he hate his job. I mean, C'MAAN.

Assume Boogaard plays in 60 games. Assume he plays 7 minutes a night. That's a total of 420 minutes, or 7 total hours. Seriously, give this man's agent a medal and a bologna sandwich, because if I were paid 1.625 million for 7 hours of work, I WOULD NOT BE PUTTING MY ENTIRE FUTURE IN DEBT IN COLLEGE. $3,869 a minute. Think of all the 900 numbers you could call if you made that kind of scratch. $232,140 an hour! Try and get THAT at McDonald's!

And to complete the film reference from earlier...think of all the new red Swinglines you could get.