Those of you that know me know that my goalie mancrush is Marty Turco. It's hard to explain, really. For years, he was my favorite goaltender not in the Detroit system. I guess it was the way he played the puck, or maybe it's the fact that he attended the University of Michigan (GO BLUE). He's just an all-around smart goaltender. Or maybe it's because he's SO DREAMY....okay, maybe not.
I was pretty damn giddy when my college roommate informed me his dad knew several Dallas Stars personally, INCLUDING one Marty Turco. For Christmas, I received a personal autographed photo from the man himself, as you can see right there. To this day, I have it on my entertainment center, overlooking me as I type this out.
And since he was in Dallas, it meant I could cheer for him. I mean, they had Mike Modano too, and he's a Michigan guy...plus, his wife his hot. They weren't in the division, they weren't necessarily a heated rival, and they weren't Chicago. But that all changed this morning...
...Marty Turco broke my heart by signing with...the Blackhawks.
And that picture, I can't look at without becoming depressed. As a Marty Turco fan AND a Red Wings fan, this is very conflicting. On one hand, I really want Marty to succeed. On the other hand, he's in fucking CHICAGO. On one hand, he's 35 years old and doesn't have a lot of time left to win a Stanley Cup, which I would love desperately for him to do. ...on the other hand, he's in fucking CHICAGO, where the only run they're poised to make is the one where they narrowly avoid being a lottery team.
And yes, I know all about his terrible record against Detroit. And I do love that Chicago will undoubtedly suck against the Red Wings this year (and the rest of the league in general), but I don't love the fact that it comes at the expense of one of my favorite players in the game stuck behind enemy lines.
It sucks.
WHY couldn't he have taken the Philadelphia offer? They're not even in our conference. At least I don't outright despise the Flyers. AND they didn't lose a good number of their important players. But no. He had to go to Chicago.
Marty. You offered me 'best wishes.' These are my worst wishes; one of my most favorite players on one of my least favorite teams. I can't offer my best wishes for you to win, and I can't hope you lose every game you're in. I can't do anything. I'm conflicted.
In any event, I'll just let this digital short do the talking for me. It's much more amusing than my morose Droopyesque lamenting, plus it's dripping with CHIdenfreude. Enjoy!
Hey Whoabot - A friend hipped me to your blog today and it's my new favorite. I'm a Michigander and long-time Wing fan now transplanted to Chicagoland. I vividly remember late spring 2009 when the Blackhawks were about to start the WCF against Detroit. The local papers all published 'Hockey 101' for the unwashed and unitiated bandwagoneers. In an ORIGINAL 6 town. Saddest, most pathetic thing I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteDuring the SCF this year I made up a little song about the salary cap and I've been humming it daily at my desk ever since. Now the humming is interrupted by peals of laughter and Nelson Muntz-esque HA HAs! Congrats Chicago - A+ for buying a Cup; F- for sustainability.
Keep up the blogging, friend.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt like this about Turco.
ReplyDeleteTrixie - Hey, thanks for the kind words. Are you serious about that Hockey 101? That's ...I don't know if I want to say hilarious or disgustingly tragic. That sort of nonsense doesn't belong in any O6 city. You'd never see that crap in Detroit. Chicago can suck on their contracts and they can enjoy barely contending next year. Good riddance to terrible "fans."
ReplyDeleteRye - It absolutely sucks, doesn't it? Among the worst things one can go through as a hockey fan...next to seeing Pittsburgh and Chicago win the Stanley Cup with their terrible fanbases.