Red Wings Sign Highest Scoring Belarusian Player in NHL History!

OH MAN. So just days after securing the services of the highest scoring American in NHL history (one Michael Q. Modano), Ken Holland has done it again, signing the HIGHEST SCORING PLAYER FROM BELARUS...EVER. What privileged fans are we, with this magnificent management, who can watch our team acquire two of the greatest players to ever lace up skates?

That's right, the legendary Ruslan Salei is now a Detroit Red Wing.

That's okay, I'll give you a minute to mop up the bodily fluids that just spewed forth from your every orifice.

Ruslan Salei. Belarus' ALL-TIME LEADING NHL SCORER. Holy living shit.

He's a scoring FORCE, scoring 194 points in almost 900 career games. Oh my GOD, HOW LUCKY ARE WE? Suck on THAT, Sergei Kostitsyn! Eat BALLS, Andrei Kostitsyn! You're balding and you look like Friar Tuck.

That said, can you believe we can afford to have this magnificent player on the THIRD DEFENSIVE PAIRING? HOW LUCKY ARE WE?!

THE GUY'S A LEGEND! Plus, look what I found on the WIKIPEDIA. Salei apparently scored 100 goals at the 2000 World Ice Hockey Championships.



Thanks, Wikipedia. You've never lied to me.