I Got Your Back, Dan Ellis

(For a quick recap and probably the best-written and better-researched article on this shituation, click me.)

Hey, Dan Ellis. I got your back. I mean, you don't know who I am, and that's fine. All I'm saying is I totally get where you were coming from when you were talking about how much it sucks when your paycheck gets divvied up like, eight million ways.

I mean, I'm not a millionaire. Hell, my last actual paying job was doing third-shift stock duty for $7.25 an hour. But after tax and shit, I only ended up making like, 5.50 an hour. And stocking is a pain in the ass, man. Especially if you gotta like, unload skids of fuckin' dog food and cat litter. Big 50, 60 pound bags? That shit is hard, and I'm out of shape. I wanted that full $7.25! I didn't want to pay bullshit taxes that had nothing to do with me, not with how hard I worked. I mean, we didn't have escrow, but if we did, that'd suck even worse.

I lost a buck and a half off my paycheck and I hated it. Imagine losing a MILLION bucks.

And being a goaltender is much harder than being a stockboy...I imagine. I mean, I never sweat off 15 pounds for a night's work (though I could stand to).

One's ONLY reaction to what Ellis said should be "Oh yeah, that DOES suck."

But no. The Twitterverse went crazy. And honestly, a little dickheaded.

Twitter personalities we've loved for their snarkiness suddenly looked like angry children insecure with their own meager earnings (or God knows what else). A little sensitive, are we? Much was made of Dan Ellis supposedly comparing his life to cops and firefighters...except he never actually did that.

"If you don't make a lot of money, you won't understand."

"Just like I wouldn't understand how cops or firefighters risk their lives."

You see, it's a comparison of the lack of understanding; not job responsibility. Dan Ellis never said a damn thing about how he risks his life or his job carries a lot of societal significance. He's not that big of an ass.

But as quoted in the CWGAP article, Buddy Oakes said it best. Yeah, $500,000 is a nice chunk of change, but he's losing two-thirds of his paycheck before he sees any of it. And that sucks. Imagine losing two-thirds of YOUR check. Would I dare tell you to shut up because someone makes less than THAT?

The hashtags and the personal attacks were ridiculous and uncalled for. I'm all for poking fun and having a laugh, but I also abide by what Wil Wheaton says: "Don't be a dick." A great number of people were being dicks.

I get that money is a sensitive issue, but again, I don't see where animosity was at all necessary. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't even feel like I was supposed to get offended by what he said, because I thought he was right. Maybe it's just that I don't really ever get offended.

Bottom line is this: If you lost 67% of your paycheck (and then some), it'd suck. No matter how much you make. And if you disagree, you're an idiot.

The end.